Bubba Patriot is a hardworking, God-fearing American who believes in the Constitution (except the parts he hasn’t read), freedom (but only for people like him), and small government (except when he needs it).

Core Beliefs & Convictions:

✅ Hates “Big Government” but loves Social Security, Medicare, public roads, and police pensions.

✅ Wants to “Drain the Swamp” by voting for career politicians who’ve spent 40 years looting the country.

✅ Believes billionaires are “job creators” and should pay no taxes, even though his own job was outsourced and his town looks like a post-apocalyptic movie set.

✅ Thinks undocumented immigrants are “stealing jobs” but also calls them lazy. Somehow, they’re both.

✅ Believes in “Law & Order” but cheers when his favorite politicians commit crimes.

✅ Says he loves the Constitution but thinks the First Amendment is just for Christians and the Second Amendment applies to tanks.

✅ Calls others “snowflakes” but melts down if someone says “Happy Holidays.”

✅ Wants to ban books and history but swears he’s fighting for “freedom.”

✅ Believes the government is evil and untrustworthy but also that the military should have unlimited power and police should never be questioned.

✅ Thinks poor people are lazy freeloaders but also complains that wages are too low to survive.

✅ Loves capitalism but hates big corporations—until election season, when he defends billionaires like they’re his cousins.

Voting Record & Life Outcomes:

• Voted to cut taxes for the ultra-rich but is shocked his roads are crumbling and his hospital shut down.
• Votes against universal healthcare while crowdfunding his medical bills.
• Votes against student debt relief while drowning in his truck loan and medical debt.
• Votes for politicians who gut public education but wonders why kids are so ignorant these days.
• Cheered when unions were crushed but can’t understand why his wages never go up.
• Still believes “trickle-down” economics will work any day now, despite 40 years of evidence to the contrary.

Favorite Sayings:

• “I pulled myself up by my bootstraps!” (He inherited his house and never left his hometown.)
• “If you don’t like it, leave!” (Said while demanding to overthrow the government.)
• “This is a Christian nation!” (Hasn’t been to church since 2004.)
• “We gotta protect our kids!” (But only from books and drag queens, not school shootings.)
• “Socialism is evil!” (Enjoys public schools, Social Security, Medicaid, and fire departments.)
• “Democrats just want free stuff!” (Waits eagerly for his next stimulus check.)

Greatest Fear:

That one day he might realize he’s been voting against himself his entire life.

Bubba Patriot isn’t just a voter—he’s a political strategy. Keep him angry, scared, and misinformed, and he’ll keep defending the very system that’s screwing him over.

#TrickleDownDelusion #BootstrapsAndBankruptcy #BigGovForMeNotForThee #ProudToBeExploited #FightingForBillionaires #GunsGodAndGoFundMe